Wednesday, March 14, 2012

How does this sound for the intro?

The content in this book is the result of walking around the shoreline of  Prudence Island, Rhode Island in the warm, early fall of 2011. These walks forced me to discover new territory in a familiar place. As I walked around the island I gathered mostly trash or abandoned objects. I photographed the objects and then began to pair them in digital collages. I began to ask myself questions like,  What is a thing? Can I begin to see things as more than mere objects? Can a thing  be an  island? Is an island ever truly isolated?
     To begin to think of the things I collected as more then just trash I started to think of the former history of each artifact, what it may have been used for, what its properties are, if it was a piece of something or what pieces make it up. On further examination I begin to make the distinction  that an object is only part of what a thing is. A thing can not only be an object but an idea or concept. And what gives a thing its significance is our ability to acknowledge and consider its existence. 
    Each object in this book has a corresponding number as well as a corresponding description that hints to its’ prior life. These things also give clues what life is like on and around the island. This book catalogs the beauty and poetry we find in unexpected places. 


  1. Sounds good so far! Here are my suggestions to tweak it some...

    1. I wouldn't start off with "The content in this book..." I think that it is obvious that this introduction is about the book since it's in the book. Maybe start with "In the warm, early fall of 2011 I began walking around the shoreline of Prudence Island, Rhode Island."

    2. I liked that you described it as warm - makes the reader think of the sun beating down on a nice walk near the water - summer like, peaceful. I wouldn't be afraid to be more descriptive in some areas.

    3. I think the questions in the end could be worked on for phrasing. Mostly the last one - seems to be took big of a leap. Think more simply on how you go from talking about an island being a thing to it being isolated? It might be obvious to you but some might not pick it up. - Is it about it being isolated as a thing? or just physically? This might just be my issue though.

    4. In the last paragraph you start the second sentence with "These" and then the third with "This." Maybe the second sentence can be "As you flip forward, you'll see a catalog of the beauty and poetry we can find in unexpected places." Or something along the lines of an invite inside - staying away from stating "This book catalogs..." I just think it's nice when writers stay away from referencing the piece.

    Hope this was helpful! Good luck! :)